For Your Yuppie White Friends- A Buncha Stuff

Hello pretties! Well, since K has decided that the holidays are a perfect time to take a hiatus from her BLOG ABOUT GIFTS (seriously, K?), I decided to fill a bit of this gap with a general post about gift ideas for the holidays. After the many years I spent in Berkeley, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York, I have become a fucking expert on what yuppie white people like. And despite their tendancy to drive you crazy, you may have some YWPs in your life that you need to buy gifts for.

So, without further ado, here is my Gifts Yuppie White People Will Like holiday list! Please buy any and all of the things on this list for the YWPs you love, and I promise they will be as happy as they are on free yoga day at Lulu Lemon. Happy hunting!

A collection of yankee candles
A juice cleanse
Anything DIY (preferably something that costs more than what its replicating)
Green tea that has no english on the package (it’s more healthy that way)
A North Face fleece
Anything pumpkin flavored
Something made out of distressed wood
A single-gear bike
Rock climbing passes
A cookbook by a famous chef (complete with recipes that they will never try)
Clothing for dogs
Beer that comes from a microbrewery
Things with moustaches drawn on them
Cultural appropriation
Flannel
Lastly, a gift that comes in a mason jar (literally anything)

Hope this was helpful. Although cultural appropriation may be hard to put in a box (or maybe not so hard), honestly, I know lots of people who would be fucking amped to recieve some of the gifts on there (rock climbing passes – for real, it’s this year’s Zumba).

Happy Holidays!

xo
Katie

For Your Dad- the iKettle

Fun fact about excessive drinking on Tuesday: it leads to inescapable desk napping on Wednesday.

Feel thankful that you do not follow me on Twitter, because the barrage of angry, ranting tweets I lobbed at my poor poor friends last night was not cool (and has since been mostly deleted). [Side note: I basically just discovered Twitter a few months ago because I am living in 2009. And oh my god guys, it’s kinda neat.]

AND because I was super busy tweeting, watching Catfish, and stumbling around my apartment, I didn’t get ANY work done last night and now have approximately one kajillion things to do. So, obviously, I’m writing blog posts instead because LOOK WHAT I FOUND.

Do you guys ever google encouraging phrases just to see what the internet will come up with to motivate you? No? Just me? Well. If you were smart, you’d try searching “OMG WAKE UP, SELF. AND DO WORK.” Because once you got past all the grumpy cat memes, you would have discovered this amazing kettle that will boil water for you whenever your iphone tells it to!

Now, instead of waking up every morning and hating everyone, the promise of the tea kettle boiling me up some delish English breakfast will make me an entirely different person. I could even imagine myself actually opening both of my eyes, brushing my hair, and perhaps saying “hello” to my roommate (and/or my gentleman caller. By which, of course, I mean my Elliot Stabler pillow).

Tea is my favorite thing besides burritos, planes driving around on the runway, and all-day marathons of Doug. It’s so much better than coffee! And healthier, right? Because of anti-oxidants and science? Oxidants are the worst!

Give this kettle to your loved ones and change their lives.

But DON’T google, “STOP EATING SO MANY WORK SNACKS” because you will find this.

For Your Friend- A Round of Drinks FROM THE INTERNET

A quick something special for my friends in Los Angeles and Seattle- I’m assuming you all have smart phones because this is NOW, and even babies have smart phones, and how do you avoid making eye contact with people in line for coffee if you aren’t Instragramming your shoes?

Anyway, I had the pleasure of going to the launch party for a new gifting app (#thisisthefuture) last week, and decided to share it with you because it’s cool, and also because they gave me free sliders and wine so I’m STILL in a good mood.

Gratafy is an app that lets you send restaurant food/alcohol gifts to your friends VIA THE INTERWEB. Here’s how it works:

Say it’s your friend’s birthday and they are celebrating with a big dinner at a restaurant in Santa Monica. However, you live in West Hollywood and refuse to try to go west of the 405 after work because NO WAY THAT’S FAR. So you send a text to your friend like “sorry, bro. would love to make it but ugh work and things and my boss is mean and meetings!” and your friend knows you are lying because then you tweet about watching Chopped on your couch, but they let you off the hook anyway because they are a better friend than you.

Then you start feeling guilty because you remember that last year for your birthday, your friend brought you champagne and agreed to karaoke with you even though you are a bossy, mic hogging terror at karaoke. But now it’s 9:15 and your shoes and pants are off so it’s not like you’re going to get in your car and try to make it to dinner by dessert-time. What do you do!?

Answer: stop making vine videos of your roommate watching TV, and open up your handy dandy Gratafy app. Then choose the restaurant and select your friend from your phone/facebook contacts and send them a little slice (or glass) of happy. Buy your friend a round of drinks at the bar they are at, or if you are sending this to me, make it an appetizer AND a round of drinks. Then your friend just has to show their phone to the server and collect on their gift. (Did that explanation make sense? Probably not, but just read the website. It’ll help.)

Helpful tip: you can also send gifts to yourself and sit at the bar pretending you are really popular and everyone loves buying you drinks.

FOR YOU! Free Sunglasses and Lip Gloss Give Away!

Photography skillz are overrated.

UPDATE: All prizes have been claimed! So like… sorry, everyone else. Still send me emails, tho. I will respond because I am trying to avoid doing work. ❤

Hello hello hello hello hello hi. My lovelies- did you think I was neglecting you? WordPress definitely did. It’s been so long between posts that when I just clicked on the little icon thingy on my internet toolbar whatchamacallit, WordPress didn’t even automatically log me in! (Hashtag 21st century problems) Which I thought was pretty rude since I just had to pay actually money to them to renew my domain name.

DO YOU KNOW WHY!?!? Because today is the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THIS SITE! It is all very exciting. Shall we name all of the exciting things that are happening as a result of this anniversary!? I think we shall! And since I have been dictator of this blog for a whole year now, you are powerless to stop me. Let’s shall:

1. MOST IMPORTANT: I AM HAVING A FREE GIVE AWAY AND YOU CAN WIN PRIZES. LIKE ACTUAL PRIZES. REAL LIFE PRIZES. PRIZES! Guys. Want some sunglasses and lip gloss? They are brand new and from Stylemint and I got them from my work because my job is better than yours. Anyway, I am giving away two pairs of glasses and a lip gloss to the first three of my 12 readers (kidding, there’s more than that #humblebrag) to email me at thingsforotherpeople@gmail.com to beg for them! Is this illegal? No, right? Because the glasses are technically mine and I am just sending them to a friend as a gift? ….. Free pair of sunglasses to the first lawyer to email me and tell me this is okay.

2. I REPEAT: FREE SUNGLASSES. If you wanted to write a little note to me in your email about how pretty I am, there’s a chance I throw in some loose change or whatever jewelry I can steal from my roommate. If you are a dude, you can give these prizes to a lady in your life. Or use them yourself. No judgement.

3. Another exciting thing: my hilar friend Katie will be guest posting a lot more this year. You might remember her awesome post about the Star Trek nope, Star WARS ice mold last year. I decided that because she is way better at knowing cool dude stuff than me, that she will now have her own “Dudes Corner” (temporary title…) where she will give you ideas about stuff for men that is not Back Rub Coupons- because usually that is all I can think of because guys are hard to understand and because why don’t they just like home decor presents as much as me? Anyway, she doesn’t know it yet, but she’s super excited to be joining the team. She’s finding out AS WE SPEAK because all I told her was that there is a paragraph in today’s post about her. Everyone welcome Katie! Yay Katie! She’s great.

4. I already have a lot of great new posts lined up for the next few weeks, so YOU’RE WELCOME.

5. We are done talking about my break up because I have now moved into the dating lots of dudes from bars/ eating my feelings stage of my life. Happier days!

6. MORE GIVEAWAYS. If this one goes well and I don’t go to jail, we’ll do lots more all year.

In conclusion, thanks for sometimes wasting a few minutes on this site. You are the reason I didn’t become a slobbering, cheese-devouring recluse during all of my hard times. And the excuse I use for doing my favorite thing: reading the whole internet “researching” all day during my good times.

Please keep reading. Be my best friend. I love you.

xx

K

For Your BFF- Just Because Sweet Treats (from Chocolate Twist)

Hey. How come no one EVER sends me flowers? Relationship or no relationship, I’m not sure I’ve EVER gotten flowers delivered to me at my home or workplace (which is way better than getting them in person. duh.) Is that just wrong? Like, what is the normal flower amount girls are supposed to receive in their lifetimes? Probably somewhere between 20 and 50 bouquets, right? Because of birthdays and anniversaries and whatnot? Or maybe even MORE if I become some sort of dancer or singer or profession where I’m bowing on stage a lot. My roommate gets flowers every other week from her parents or her girlfriend or her girlfriend’s parents. WHAT THE HECK, LOVED ONES? WHERE ARE MY FLOWERS.

Ok, but be strategic about it. If everyone sends me flowers next week and I end up watching Pretty Little Liars through a sea of roses I will be living a recurring dream (as long as Mr. Fitz is also there) know that you are just sending them because I demanded it and it will cheapen the experience.. but not totally ruin it so please feel free to send them anytime I need some flowers in my life and edible arrangements are also accepted as long as some of the fruit is chocolate covered because whowantsregularfruit?!?!

ANYWAYZ, speaking of mail gifts (as opposed to male gifs, which is also something I like sent to me), my friend got these sweet Chocolate Twist chocolates in the mail from her boss. (HER BOSS. COME ONNNNN.) She suggested I put them on the blog, and I obviously agreed in exchange for being able to eat one of the chocolates. Because I am a cheap ho for chocolate, and I accept blog bribes. I AM OPEN FOR BUSINESS. If you send me snacks, I will blog about them and I will say all the good things. And if you send flowers, then I will also marry you.

So please consider sending these chocolates to the people you love. There are cool flavored marshmallows and caramels and other delicious things. (I want the Parmesan truffles! cheese chocolate!) And they ship all over the US. Don’t leave your sad, flower-less friends out in the cold. I think sending treats and flowers is best done out-of-the-blue because they really are the loveliest of lovely things to receive when you least expect it. Which is why I will continue to not expect anything over the next week or so. 😉 😉 😉 all the winks.

For Prince Harry- Self-designed Cookies

Hello, my babies. How are you? What did you do this weekend? If the answer is not “learned all the dance moves in the Bubble Butt video,” you really need to get on my level. Or maybe you went on a mediocre date and accidentally called the dude a slut as a (pretty solid) joke, but he didn’t get ANY of your jokes so you just came home and ate all the pizza in the fridge. Or maybe you sat by the TV waiting for the royal baby to be born and planning a really great present for New Uncle Prince Harry so that he will marry you and make you some adorable ginger children…

My original idea was to send some glamor shots of me holding a British flag and all of my old Spice Girls barbies so he’d know how much I like the UK. There’s also a pretty attractive picture of me eating clotted cream with a spoon in a Soho pub that I could include. Is there a man on Earth that can resist a woman who can take down a whole tub of cream and 12 Snakebites in one sitting? (Apparently yes, because I’m single. Womp. But not for long! Mwahahahahaha! Prince Harry!)

Luckily that baby is taking it’s sweet time to get here, giving me a few extra days to perfect my uncle-winning gift. I got it! British people LOVE cookies. I mean, sure they call them “digestives” or “biscuits”, both of which sound decidedly less delicious than “fresh baked cookies.” But nomenclature aside,  they have whole meal times devoted to them! Or like, to tea. But we all know that the point of drinking tea is to wash down crumpets or whatever. So what better way to show my love than to make (and eat) some cookies for the younger prince? Thingiverse lets you design your OWN cookie cutters so that your gift will be delicious AND original. I’m thinking mine will be fish ‘n chip and/or David Beckham shaped.

Oh, but one last thing: you need a 3D printer so hurry up and join the future!

For ME- An Encouragement Edible Arrangement, Please

Today is my one-month single-versary, and in honor of me, I am celebrating with one last post about my sad sad life before I stop boring you with my complaints. After this, it’s all roses and sunshine and summer alcoholic beverages! I’ll still be writing melancholy contemplative emails to myself, but it’s time to move forward. At least blog-wise. Because hoping this is just a bad dream that I’ll wake up from and walk into the kitchen and there’s an omelet and hash browns is NOT gonna happen, I guess. And waiting for it is keeping me stuck in this omelet-less rut. So here we go. Good bye, old life. Hello, a lot more alcohol every day! But first, just for fun, shall we recap some things I did in this month of heartbreak? I…

• Read approx 7 million books
• Learned how to properly clean a shower
• Tortured some herb plants and maybe grew the beginnings of one tiny jalapeno
• Cried a lot
• Watched ALL the episodes of Chopped
• Developed a cheese allergy (WHYYYYYYYYYYYY)
• Kicked my Starbucks breakfast sando habit (damn cheese!)
• Cried more
• Exercised three times!!!!!11
• Almost died in a freak Baskin Robins accident
• Wrote a multitude of pathetic emails
• Ate mystery sliders in a bedroom at a party instead of talking to people
• Taught myself to save pathetic emails into the drafts folder instead of sending them
• Read the entire internet every day
• Stared solemnly out of car windows
• Went to all the happy hours
• Bought some awesome, remote controlled flameless candles that I can turn on with the push of a button in a badass, sexy way if I ever have a gentleman caller in my home
• Watched a recap of Pretty Little Liars so I finally kind of understand the plot
• Finished three bottles of bourbon
• Laser-ed all of my body hair off
• Drove to old relationship landmarks to make myself feel bad
• Took a cooking class
• Discovered buying prepared foods at Trader Joes is easier
• Watched Steel Magnolias 15 times
• Cleaned out my closets
• Made out with my ex and got confused about what life is
• Decided to control my own emotions and just try to feel better

So, you know, mixed bag. One month later and I’m slightly healthier and my house is clean, but I still can’t unsubscribe from my fake Knot.com account so I’m being tortured by emails about happy couples and wedding cake everyday. You win some, you lose some. On to the next phase- making out with anyone who has a British accent, real or otherwise. Commence happiness! I hope? I dunno. Here goes nothin’. I don’t know what I’m doing here.  If you feel like sending me an encouragement edible arrangement, I’ll take it. Everyone loves Edible Arrangements, even if they pretend they are dumb. It’s free food! And I love free food. Make sure there’s some chocolate covered pineapples in there. Maybe some fish ‘n chips.

“If you’re planning on sending me an edible arrangement, I prefer a meat one.” — Liz Lemon (30 Rock)

For The Bride and Groom- Gourmet Spices

 

Ok, I’m just about over being unemployed. Sure I get to wake up whenever I want, write Chopped fanfiction about Ted Allen for entire afternoons,  and take creepy stalker pictures of Will and Grace’s Beverley Leslie at Starbucks all morning (!!!!!!!!!!), but this not-having-money-for-whatever-cheese-I-want-at-Whole-Foods thing is starting to wear on me. Thank God my mom invited me down to my parents’ house this week. They have a whole fridge full of cheese! Hashtag family resemblance.

While I was there, I came across this great gourmet spice shop, and obviously ended up spending a ton of money that I don’t actually have. Thanks, credit card! I will now be enjoying my Ramen noodles topped with some delicious Alderwood Smoked Course Sea Salt!

Even if you like your Ramen plain, these spices would make a great gift. Wedding season is fast approaching, as you can probably tell from the pile of Save the Dates you’ve shoved under your coffee maker/in between your couch cushions/in the junk drawer (if you’re me). And these gorgeous, unique, and surprisingly cheap spice sets would be a PERFECT gift!

For young couples, go with the household starter kits like The Organic Collection or Keys to the Kitchen. For more established couples, I like the wilder salt or ethnic sets.

They ship all over the country, but if you live in So Cal, you’re better off calling the store in Corona del Mar and getting them to ship to you direct for cheaper.

(Ps- Beverley Leslie just left. Sadly, I did not get to ask him where Benji his “business associate” is today.)

For the Hostess- Champagne Glasses

Cheers!

New Year’s Eve is coming, which means I’ve been spending 14-18 hours a day shopping online for clothing covered in sequins and glitter. I don’t even know what I’m doing on NYE, but I do know that it doesn’t matter if I’m at a dive bar, a swanky shin dig, or sitting on my couch surrounded by pizza slices, I WILL be wearing sequins. This is really the only night of the year where I’m not intensely annoyed by sparkly girls (besides at Ke$ha concerts). Usually I want to murder girls in sequins on a regular night out. There is no need to be that shiny for no reason. Sparkles are for special occasions.

If you ARE going to some sort of cool house party (lucky you! invite me!), consider bringing these gorg champagne glasses from the MoMA. They are kind of pricey, so you’re probably not going to be able provide enough for the whole party, but it’s a cool gift for the host. Maybe she’ll even let you drink out of one for the night, and you can pretend you’re a Gossip Girl. Also great as a grad gift.

For Hostess- Monogrammed Disposable Coasters

Use the holder as a candy jar when the coasters are gone? Am I the only one always thinking about candy?

This pretty, personalized hostess gift shows more thought than a bottle of wine frantically purchased from CVS on the way to a party. They’d also be a great Thank You gift after spending a weekend at a friend’s place. The coasters come in a few different colors so you can easily match the decor of any house, and the pretty glass jar can be reused for a candle or hipster whiskey glass or something. Personally, I’d fill it with peanut butter pretzels. And then constantly refill after eating a jarfull every half hour.