OK let’s just breeze right past the fact that it’s been a while and jump right into what’s really important: I got bangs.
They are currently in my eyes and flipping out at the side in a manner that I have decided to call “whimsical” even though it’s quite possible that the correct term is “frightening” or perhaps “terrible.” Whatever the case, they’re frizzy and I hate them. I think because I keep expecting to look in the mirror and see Rose Byrne, and then just end up seeing me with long strands of hair mixing in with the directly-inside-my-eyeball short strands and generally just being a mess. #foreheadclaustrophobia #blessed
Moving on. My mom pinned this contraption to her “For K” board with the caption “butt lamp.” I’m not sure how to feel about this. She DOES know how little outside light my apartment gets, so I guess it’s nice of her? Thanks, mom.
Anyway. For $12,000 you get a ass-shaped light that turns on when you slap it. <butt joke> <spanking joke> <something about twerking> <i just can’t>
And because $12,000 is a ridiculously idiotic amount to pay for ANYTHING that is not a car, house, or date with Channing Tatum where you are allowed to sleep wit him after, consider not buying this for your little bro and instead just getting him a poster of butts. There are a lot. Some are quite artsy and refined. He’ll love it. Ta-da!
Leave me alone. I’ve got bangs to attend to.
Things For Other People 