Anyone who knows me can tell you that I LOVE BATHS.
You see, my white friends, sometimes people are not born with perfect non-frizzy hair. Some people can’t go to the gym in the morning, then shower, then jet off to work with their locks gently air drying the breeze from the air conditioning. SOME people have to physically beat their hair into submission, and it takes 45 minutes minimum, and it gets really hot in bathroom, and you have to flat iron it, and then curling iron it, and you use all the irons. AND THEN, only then, is it suitable to be seen by outsiders.
Obviously this takes way too many minutes to be done EVERY day. And for that reason, I only do it twice a week tops. BUT DONT JUDGE ME, you flat hair’d jerk. I still wash my body. That’s where baths come in. Baths are luxurious. You can use bath salts (in a non-ingestible/face-eating way), and candles, and books, and magazines. You can pretend you are in some sort of romantic comedy and you are taking a bath to relax after a long day and it’s perfect (instead of being too hot and also uncomfortable because your boobs are floating out of the water and getting cold and your book is getting wet and you can’t text because your hands are shriveled.)
BUT BESIDES THAT, it’s awesome. You can get clean, and shave your legs, and wash off all of your makeup, AND YOUR HAIR STAYS DRY. You’ll only have to flat iron the few bits around your face that got some stray face wash on them. The rest can live to fight another day. Probably Wednesday. Unless you have shit to do on Wednesday. Then you can put it in a bun and wait until Thursday.
Anyway, if one of your friends likes baths as much as me, you should get them this submersible planetarium that projects lights onto the ceiling or into the bath itself. I prefer the peaceful stars-on-the-wall compared to the terrifying sting ray-swimming-in-your-tub effect, but it’s up to you. Might be fun for your friends who have kids, too. But let’s be honest, this and a glass of wine, and I might never get out. Unless my boobs get too cold.
Things For Other People 